Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dating Christian Women - Introduction - Why Is It So Hard?

When does the actual dating process with a women begin? While many others may differ, in my personal opinion, it is the moment of meeting the girl to what use to be called, "going steady." This is when the two people mutually decide to only see each other.

The reason I write this is because there is a difference between getting a girl and being in an already established relationship. Until the man and woman make the decision to see only each other, there is a lot of mystery with what the man is suppose to do. Many men figure they are suppose to do the same thing as they would in an already established relationship but, in fact, God did not design it that way.

Many men forget about what is called the dating process. If you look around at material, the dating process is almost completely ignored, while relationship material is plentiful.

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Why is there a shortage of material on the dating process, especially within the Christian community?

Not completely sure, but there are some books which do cover the topic of dating Christian women. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris is a great book, and unlike the title, it is actually not a complete call of Christians to not date, but to put the focus of the relationship on God and to put the biblical example of marriage at the center. On one of his most important points, he writes that we should move past selfish personal reasons for dating. The book does help somewhat, but it does not focus on what to do when we are getting to know a girl and slowly moving the dating process forward.

Lets take a look at another book: When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric and Leslie Ludy. This is another great book, and starts to touch on dating women, writing that a man should first focus on God, fix his own life, and become a better, more complete man, but it does not help with the dating process. There are more books, but we will leave it with these two right now.

We need to become better men. Both of the books, while not helping with the dating process, write that God needs to be the center of your life, and you need to fix yourself, but what do we do with that? We become a better person, suitable for a women of God, but unless you know how to act and what to do, women will probably stay away from you. They will not be interested in you, which will cause a lot of unnecessarily rejection and hurt.

It's okay though, I didn't know what to do for the longest time either!

More About Dating Christian Women

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